360 degree camera of grandmothers
Your momma is so stupid when I told her Christmas is right around the corner she went looking for it.
How is Christmas like your job? You do all the work and the fat guy in the suit gets all the credit.
Can a kangaroo jump higher than a house? Of course, a house doesn’t jump at all.
Q: What does a skeleton order at a restaurant? A: Spare ribs!
Your momma is so fat when she got on the scale it said, "I need your weight not your phone number."
Q: Why is Santa Claus' sack so big? A: He only comes once a year.
Cath the train
A man asks a farmer near a field, “Sorry sir, would you mind if I crossed your field instead of going around it? You see, I have to catch the 4:23 train.” The farmer says, “Sure, go right ahead. And if my bull sees you, you’ll even catch the 4:11 one."
Bug in soup
A boy asks his father, "Dad, are bugs good to eat?" "That's disgusting. Don't talk about things like that over dinner," the dad replies. After dinner the father asks, "Now, son, what did you want to ask me?" "Oh, nothing," the boy says. "There was a bug in your soup, but now it’s gone."