Night club award
What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus? Claustrophobic.
If athletes get athletes foot, what do astronauts get? Missletoe!
What is the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman? Snowballs.
I asked a Chinese girl for her number. She said, "Sex! Sex! Sex! Free sex tonight!" I said, "Wow!" Then her friend said, "She means 666-3629."
Q: What starts with E, ends with E, and has only 1 letter in it? A: Envelope.
Why isn't the turkey hungry at Thanksgiving? Because he's already stuffed!
Your momma is so fat when she got on the scale it said, "I need your weight not your phone number."
Q: Why did the skeleton cross the road? A: To get to the body shop.