Sad dog wants to play
Kid 1: "Hey, I bet you're still a virgin." Kid 2: "Yeah, I was a virgin until last night ." Kid 1: "As if." Kid 2: "Yeah, just ask your sister." Kid 1: "I don't have a sister." Kid 2: "You will in about nine months."
Q: What starts with E, ends with E, and has only 1 letter in it? A: Envelope.
Reporter vs man
Reporter: "Excuse me, may I interview you?" Man: "Yes!" Reporter: "Name?" Man: "Abdul Al-Rhazim." Reporter: "Sex?" Man: "Three to five times a week." Reporter: "No no! I mean male or female?" Man: "Yes, male, female... sometimes camel." Reporter: "Holy cow!" Man: "Yes, cow, sheep... animals in general." Reporter: "But isn't that hostile?" Man: "Yes, horse style, dog style, any style." Reporter: "Oh dear!" Man: "No, no deer. Deer run too fast. Hard to catch."
How is Christmas like your job? You do all the work and the fat guy in the suit gets all the credit.
Why is Santa Claus so jolly? Because he knows where all the naughty girls live.
Q: Is Google male or female? A: Female, because it doesn't let you finish a sentence before making a suggestion.
Your momma is so stupid when I told her Christmas is right around the corner she went looking for it.
"Mom, where do tampons go?" "Where the babies come from, darling." "In the stork?"