HEAVEN VS HELL

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Heaven vs hell

#funny #men #man #feature #people

New jokes

Trick-or-treating
A little kid was out trick-or-treating on Halloween dressed as a pirate. He rang a house's doorbell and the door was opened by a lady. "Oh, how cute! A little pirate! And where are your buccaneers?" she asked. The boy replied, "Under my buckin' hat."

Birthday
Why did I get divorced? Well, last week was my birthday. My wife didn't wish me a happy birthday. My parents forgot and so did my kids. I went to work and even my colleagues didn't wish me a happy birthday. As I entered my office, my secretary said, "Happy birthday, boss!" I felt so special. She asked me out for lunch. After lunch, she invited me to her apartment. We went there and she said, "Do you mind if I go into the bedroom for a minute?" "Okay," I said. She came out 5 minutes later with a birthday cake, my wife, my parents, my kids, my friends, & my colleagues all yelling, "SURPRISE!!!" while I was waiting on the sofa... naked.

Snowman and vampire
What do get if you cross a Snowman with a Vampire? Frostbite.

Kangaroo
Can a kangaroo jump higher than a house? Of course, a house doesn’t jump at all.

Value of pi
Teacher: What is the value of Pi? Student: Depending on what pie. Usually is $12.99

Elves in school
Q: What do elves learn in school? Q: What do elves learn in school? A: The Elfabet.

Mummy´s music
Q: What is a mummy's favorite type of music? A: Wrap!

Athletes
If athletes get athletes foot, what do astronauts get? Missletoe!