Real iron man in house
#funny #fun #men #man #annoyed #feature #activities #people #emotion
Google
Q: Is Google male or female?
A: Female, because it doesn't let you finish a sentence before making a suggestion.
Months
Q: Can February march? A: No, but April may.
Kangaroo
Can a kangaroo jump higher than a house?
Of course, a house doesn’t jump at all.
Claustrophobic
What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus? Claustrophobic.
Birthday
Why did I get divorced? Well, last week was my birthday. My wife didn't wish me a happy birthday. My parents forgot and so did my kids. I went to work and even my colleagues didn't wish me a happy birthday. As I entered my office, my secretary said, "Happy birthday, boss!" I felt so special. She asked me out for lunch. After lunch, she invited me to her apartment. We went there and she said, "Do you mind if I go into the bedroom for a minute?" "Okay," I said. She came out 5 minutes later with a birthday cake, my wife, my parents, my kids, my friends, & my colleagues all yelling, "SURPRISE!!!" while I was waiting on the sofa... naked.
Santas sack
Q: Why is Santa Claus' sack so big? A: He only comes once a year.
Man vs priest
Man to his priest: “Yesterday I sinned with an 18 year old girl.”
The priest: “Squeeze 18 lemons and drink the juice all at once.”
Man: “And that frees me from my sin?”
Priest: “No, but it frees your face from that dirty grin.
Ghosts as liars
Q: Why are ghosts bad liars? A: You can see right through them.