Q: Why did the witches' team lose the baseball game? A: Their bats flew away.
Why is Santa Claus so jolly? Because he knows where all the naughty girls live.
Tiger Woods vs Santa
Q: What is the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa Claus? A: Santa stops after three hos.
Guys on the roof
On the roof of a very tall building are four men; one is asian, one is mexican, one is black, and the last one is white. The asian walks to the ledge and says, "This is for all my people" and jumps off the roof. Next, the mexican walks to the ledge and also says, "This is for all my people" and then he jumps off the roof. Next is the black guy's turn. The black guy walks to the ledge and says, "This is for all my people" and then throws the white guy off the roof.
Snowman and vampire
What do get if you cross a Snowman with a Vampire? Frostbite.
Q: Why did the skeleton cross the road? A: To get to the body shop.
Ghosts as liars
Q: Why are ghosts bad liars? A: You can see right through them.
If athletes get athletes foot, what do astronauts get? Missletoe!