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New jokes
Snowman and vampire
What do get if you cross a Snowman with a Vampire? Frostbite.
School
Mother: "How was school today, Patrick?"
Patrick: "It was really great mum! Today we made explosives!"
Mother: "Ooh, they do very fancy stuff with you these days. And what will you do at school tomorrow?"
Patrick: "What school?"
Trick-or-treating
A little kid was out trick-or-treating on Halloween dressed as a pirate. He rang a house's doorbell and the door was opened by a lady. "Oh, how cute! A little pirate! And where are your buccaneers?" she asked. The boy replied, "Under my buckin' hat."
Harry Potter
Q: How does Albus get into Hogwarts? A: Through the Dumble-door.
Claustrophobic
What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus? Claustrophobic.
Mexican sport
What is a Mexican's favorite sport? Cross-country.
Naughty girls
Why is Santa Claus so jolly? Because he knows where all the naughty girls live.
Boss and employee
Boss: Do you believe in life after death?
Employee: No, because there is no proof of it.
Boss: Well there is now !
Employee: How?
Boss: When you left yesterday saying that you have to go to your uncle's funeral, your uncle came here looking for you after you left