Q: Why did Adele cross the road? A: To sing, "Hello from the other side!"
Q: Is Google male or female? A: Female, because it doesn't let you finish a sentence before making a suggestion.
Yo momma's so stupid, she put two quarters in her ears and thought she was listening to 50 Cent.
Bug in soup
A boy asks his father, "Dad, are bugs good to eat?" "That's disgusting. Don't talk about things like that over dinner," the dad replies. After dinner the father asks, "Now, son, what did you want to ask me?" "Oh, nothing," the boy says. "There was a bug in your soup, but now it’s gone."
Cath the train
A man asks a farmer near a field, “Sorry sir, would you mind if I crossed your field instead of going around it? You see, I have to catch the 4:23 train.” The farmer says, “Sure, go right ahead. And if my bull sees you, you’ll even catch the 4:11 one."
Value of pi
Teacher: What is the value of Pi? Student: Depending on what pie. Usually is $12.99
Q: Why is Santa Claus' sack so big? A: He only comes once a year.
Your momma is so stupid when I told her Christmas is right around the corner she went looking for it.