AGENT 007

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Agent 007

#funny #men #man #drunk #beer #yellow #alcohol #liquor #feature #people #food #color

New jokes

50 cent
Yo momma's so stupid, she put two quarters in her ears and thought she was listening to 50 Cent.

School
Mother: "How was school today, Patrick?" Patrick: "It was really great mum! Today we made explosives!" Mother: "Ooh, they do very fancy stuff with you these days. And what will you do at school tomorrow?" Patrick: "What school?"

Envelope
Q: What starts with E, ends with E, and has only 1 letter in it? A: Envelope.

Lost in desert
A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette were all lost in the desert. They found a lamp and rubbed it. A genie popped out and granted them each one wish. The redhead wished to be back home. Poof! She was back home. The brunette wished to be at home with her family. Poof! She was back home with her family. The blonde said, "Awwww, I wish my friends were here."

Athletes
If athletes get athletes foot, what do astronauts get? Missletoe!

Fat momma
Your momma is so fat when she got on the scale it said, "I need your weight not your phone number."

Man vs priest
Man to his priest: “Yesterday I sinned with an 18 year old girl.” The priest: “Squeeze 18 lemons and drink the juice all at once.” Man: “And that frees me from my sin?” Priest: “No, but it frees your face from that dirty grin.

Claustrophobic
What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus? Claustrophobic.