Bug in soup
A boy asks his father, "Dad, are bugs good to eat?" "That's disgusting. Don't talk about things like that over dinner," the dad replies. After dinner the father asks, "Now, son, what did you want to ask me?" "Oh, nothing," the boy says. "There was a bug in your soup, but now it’s gone."
Teacher and students
Teacher: "Kids, what does the chicken give you?" Student: "Meat!" Teacher: "Very good! Now what does the pig give you?" Student: "Bacon!" Teacher: "Great! And what does the fat cow give you?" Student: "Homework!"
Q: Can February march? A: No, but April may.
I asked a Chinese girl for her number. She said, "Sex! Sex! Sex! Free sex tonight!" I said, "Wow!" Then her friend said, "She means 666-3629."
Q: How does Albus get into Hogwarts? A: Through the Dumble-door.
Q: Why did the skeleton cross the road? A: To get to the body shop.
"Mom, where do tampons go?" "Where the babies come from, darling." "In the stork?"
Your momma is so fat when she got on the scale it said, "I need your weight not your phone number."