Witches and black cats
Bug in soup
A boy asks his father, "Dad, are bugs good to eat?" "That's disgusting. Don't talk about things like that over dinner," the dad replies. After dinner the father asks, "Now, son, what did you want to ask me?" "Oh, nothing," the boy says. "There was a bug in your soup, but now it’s gone."
Why is Santa Claus so jolly? Because he knows where all the naughty girls live.
Q: Why do hamburgers go to the gym A: To get better buns!
Snowman and vampire
What do get if you cross a Snowman with a Vampire? Frostbite.
Kid 1: "Hey, I bet you're still a virgin." Kid 2: "Yeah, I was a virgin until last night ." Kid 1: "As if." Kid 2: "Yeah, just ask your sister." Kid 1: "I don't have a sister." Kid 2: "You will in about nine months."
Q: How does Albus get into Hogwarts? A: Through the Dumble-door.
Can a kangaroo jump higher than a house? Of course, a house doesn’t jump at all.
Value of pi
Teacher: What is the value of Pi? Student: Depending on what pie. Usually is $12.99