BEST CAR SECURITY SYSTEM IN AMERICA

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Best car security system in America

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New jokes

Man vs priest
Man to his priest: “Yesterday I sinned with an 18 year old girl.” The priest: “Squeeze 18 lemons and drink the juice all at once.” Man: “And that frees me from my sin?” Priest: “No, but it frees your face from that dirty grin.

Value of pi
Teacher: What is the value of Pi? Student: Depending on what pie. Usually is $12.99

50 cent
Yo momma's so stupid, she put two quarters in her ears and thought she was listening to 50 Cent.

Fat momma
Your momma is so fat when she got on the scale it said, "I need your weight not your phone number."

School
Mother: "How was school today, Patrick?" Patrick: "It was really great mum! Today we made explosives!" Mother: "Ooh, they do very fancy stuff with you these days. And what will you do at school tomorrow?" Patrick: "What school?"

Skeleton
Q: Why did the skeleton cross the road? A: To get to the body shop.

Athletes
If athletes get athletes foot, what do astronauts get? Missletoe!

Kangaroo
Can a kangaroo jump higher than a house? Of course, a house doesn’t jump at all.