Snow car face
What is the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman? Snowballs.
A little kids sends a letter to Santa that says: "Dear Santa I want a brother for Christmas." Santa writes back, "Dear Timmy send me me your mommy."
Bug in soup
A boy asks his father, "Dad, are bugs good to eat?" "That's disgusting. Don't talk about things like that over dinner," the dad replies. After dinner the father asks, "Now, son, what did you want to ask me?" "Oh, nothing," the boy says. "There was a bug in your soup, but now it’s gone."
Your momma is so fat when she got on the scale it said, "I need your weight not your phone number."
Q: What is a mummy's favorite type of music? A: Wrap!
What is a Mexican's favorite sport? Cross-country.
I just read a book about Helium. It was so good that I can't put it down.
Ghosts as liars
Q: Why are ghosts bad liars? A: You can see right through them.