Owl in dark
Q: Why is Santa Claus' sack so big? A: He only comes once a year.
Pee in the shower
Q: Who cares if you pee in the shower? A: The bride and all her guests, apparently.
What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus? Claustrophobic.
Q: Can February march? A: No, but April may.
What is the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman? Snowballs.
Q: What do cheap hotels and designer jeans have in common? A: No ballroom.
Mr. and Mrs. Brown
Mr. and Mrs. Brown had two sons. One was named Mind Your Own Business & the other was named Trouble. One day the two boys decided to play hide and seek. Trouble hid while Mind Your Own Business counted to one hundred. Mind Your Own Business began looking for his brother behind garbage cans and bushes. Then he started looking in and under cars until a police man approached him and asked, "What are you doing?" "Playing a game," the boy replied. "What is your name?" the officer questioned. "Mind Your Own Business." Furious the policeman inquired, "Are you looking for trouble?!" The boy replied, "Why, yes."
Tiger Woods vs Santa
Q: What is the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa Claus? A: Santa stops after three hos.