Dog chef baking muffins
Don´t be racist
Don't be racist; racism is a crime; and crime is for black people.
Man vs priest
Man to his priest: “Yesterday I sinned with an 18 year old girl.” The priest: “Squeeze 18 lemons and drink the juice all at once.” Man: “And that frees me from my sin?” Priest: “No, but it frees your face from that dirty grin.
Mr. and Mrs. Brown
Mr. and Mrs. Brown had two sons. One was named Mind Your Own Business & the other was named Trouble. One day the two boys decided to play hide and seek. Trouble hid while Mind Your Own Business counted to one hundred. Mind Your Own Business began looking for his brother behind garbage cans and bushes. Then he started looking in and under cars until a police man approached him and asked, "What are you doing?" "Playing a game," the boy replied. "What is your name?" the officer questioned. "Mind Your Own Business." Furious the policeman inquired, "Are you looking for trouble?!" The boy replied, "Why, yes."
Q: Why is Santa Claus' sack so big? A: He only comes once a year.
What is the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman? Snowballs.
Q: Is Google male or female? A: Female, because it doesn't let you finish a sentence before making a suggestion.
Can a kangaroo jump higher than a house? Of course, a house doesn’t jump at all.
Tiger Woods vs Santa
Q: What is the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa Claus? A: Santa stops after three hos.