Flamingo on crocodile
#animal #white #funny #bird #swimming #water #dangerous #animals #color #feature #sports #nature
Pee in the shower
Q: Who cares if you pee in the shower? A: The bride and all her guests, apparently.
Christmas gift
A little kids sends a letter to Santa that says: "Dear Santa I want a brother for Christmas." Santa writes back, "Dear Timmy send me me your mommy."
Adele
Q: Why did Adele cross the road?
A: To sing, "Hello from the other side!"
Chinese girl
I asked a Chinese girl for her number. She said, "Sex! Sex! Sex! Free sex tonight!" I said, "Wow!" Then her friend said, "She means 666-3629."
Kids conversation
Kid 1: "Hey, I bet you're still a virgin."
Kid 2: "Yeah, I was a virgin until last night ."
Kid 1: "As if."
Kid 2: "Yeah, just ask your sister."
Kid 1: "I don't have a sister."
Kid 2: "You will in about nine months."
DonĀ“t be racist
Don't be racist; racism is a crime; and crime is for black people.
Teacher and students
Teacher: "Kids, what does the chicken give you?"
Student: "Meat!"
Teacher: "Very good! Now what does the pig give you?"
Student: "Bacon!"
Teacher: "Great! And what does the fat cow give you?"
Student: "Homework!"
Harry Potter
Q: How does Albus get into Hogwarts? A: Through the Dumble-door.