SATISFIED BABY

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Satisfied baby

#cute #sweet #funny #sleep #sleeping #tired #satisfied #baby #happy #boss #feature #activities #emotion #people

New jokes

LIGHTS OFF
I'm so in love with my boyfriend right now. Everything is perfect, but we want totally different things in bed. Like, he's always turning the lights on, you know what I'm saying? And I shut them off, and he turns them on, and the other day, he's like, 'Amy, why are you so shy? You know, you have a beautiful body.' I was like, 'Oh my god, you're so cute. You think I don't want you to see me?'

MY WIFE AND I ARE REALLY IN SYNC
If my wife has too much to drink at a party, starts yapping a little too much, I don't have to say anything... three little leg squeezes, she knows that means 'Put a sock in it, drunkie, time for you to wrap it up.' Somebody didn't have dinner like I suggested, now you're spouting off at the mouth divulging all the family secrets. You need to pipe down or we've got to f**king leave.

Google
Q: Is Google male or female? A: Female, because it doesn't let you finish a sentence before making a suggestion.

Fat momma
Your momma is so fat when she got on the scale it said, "I need your weight not your phone number."

Santas sack
Q: Why is Santa Claus' sack so big? A: He only comes once a year.

Pee in the shower
Q: Who cares if you pee in the shower? A: The bride and all her guests, apparently.

Christmas gift
A little kids sends a letter to Santa that says: "Dear Santa I want a brother for Christmas." Santa writes back, "Dear Timmy send me me your mommy."

Envelope
Q: What starts with E, ends with E, and has only 1 letter in it? A: Envelope.