WOMAN EATING MELON

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Woman eating melon

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New jokes

Claustrophobic
What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus? Claustrophobic.

Momma
Your momma is so short, when she went to meet Santa he said, "Go back to work!"

Don´t be racist
Don't be racist; racism is a crime; and crime is for black people.

Chinese girl
I asked a Chinese girl for her number. She said, "Sex! Sex! Sex! Free sex tonight!" I said, "Wow!" Then her friend said, "She means 666-3629."

Skeleton order
Q: What does a skeleton order at a restaurant? A: Spare ribs!

Man vs priest
Man to his priest: “Yesterday I sinned with an 18 year old girl.” The priest: “Squeeze 18 lemons and drink the juice all at once.” Man: “And that frees me from my sin?” Priest: “No, but it frees your face from that dirty grin.

School
Mother: "How was school today, Patrick?" Patrick: "It was really great mum! Today we made explosives!" Mother: "Ooh, they do very fancy stuff with you these days. And what will you do at school tomorrow?" Patrick: "What school?"

Santas sack
Q: Why is Santa Claus' sack so big? A: He only comes once a year.