Why isn't the turkey hungry at Thanksgiving? Because he's already stuffed!
What is the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman? Snowballs.
A BLONDE & HER THERMOS
A blonde notices that her coworker has a thermos, so she asks him what it's for. He responds, "It keeps hot things hot and cold things cold." The blonde immediately buys one for herself. The next day, she goes to work and proudly displays it. Her coworker asks, "What do you have in it?" She replies, "Soup and ice cream."
Q: What do cheap hotels and designer jeans have in common? A: No ballroom.
What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus? Claustrophobic.
Don´t be racist
Don't be racist; racism is a crime; and crime is for black people.
Yo momma's so stupid, she put two quarters in her ears and thought she was listening to 50 Cent.
Teacher and students
Teacher: "Kids, what does the chicken give you?" Student: "Meat!" Teacher: "Very good! Now what does the pig give you?" Student: "Bacon!" Teacher: "Great! And what does the fat cow give you?" Student: "Homework!"