BABY CARE

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Baby care

#funny #woman #man #frustrated #depressed #sad #omg #feature #people #emotion #reactions

New jokes

Fat momma
Your momma is so fat when she got on the scale it said, "I need your weight not your phone number."

Woman in the mirror
A woman looks in the mirror and says I look fat and then asks her husband to give her a compliment he says ok you have perfect eye sight.

MY WIFE AND I ARE REALLY IN SYNC
If my wife has too much to drink at a party, starts yapping a little too much, I don't have to say anything... three little leg squeezes, she knows that means 'Put a sock in it, drunkie, time for you to wrap it up.' Somebody didn't have dinner like I suggested, now you're spouting off at the mouth divulging all the family secrets. You need to pipe down or we've got to f**king leave.

Snowman and vampire
What do get if you cross a Snowman with a Vampire? Frostbite.

50 cent
Yo momma's so stupid, she put two quarters in her ears and thought she was listening to 50 Cent.

Claustrophobic
What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus? Claustrophobic.

Ghosts as cheerleaders
Q: Why are ghosts such good cheerleaders? A: Because they have a lot of spirit!

Reporter vs man
Reporter: "Excuse me, may I interview you?" Man: "Yes!" Reporter: "Name?" Man: "Abdul Al-Rhazim." Reporter: "Sex?" Man: "Three to five times a week." Reporter: "No no! I mean male or female?" Man: "Yes, male, female... sometimes camel." Reporter: "Holy cow!" Man: "Yes, cow, sheep... animals in general." Reporter: "But isn't that hostile?" Man: "Yes, horse style, dog style, any style." Reporter: "Oh dear!" Man: "No, no deer. Deer run too fast. Hard to catch."