STAY AWAY FROM NEGATIVE PEOPLE

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Stay away from negative people

#funny #feature

New jokes

A BLONDE & HER THERMOS
A blonde notices that her coworker has a thermos, so she asks him what it's for. He responds, "It keeps hot things hot and cold things cold." The blonde immediately buys one for herself. The next day, she goes to work and proudly displays it. Her coworker asks, "What do you have in it?" She replies, "Soup and ice cream."

Value of pi
Teacher: What is the value of Pi? Student: Depending on what pie. Usually is $12.99

Christmas
How is Christmas like your job? You do all the work and the fat guy in the suit gets all the credit.

Google
Q: Is Google male or female? A: Female, because it doesn't let you finish a sentence before making a suggestion.

Skeleton order
Q: What does a skeleton order at a restaurant? A: Spare ribs!

Snowman snowwoman
What is the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman? Snowballs.

Chinese girl
I asked a Chinese girl for her number. She said, "Sex! Sex! Sex! Free sex tonight!" I said, "Wow!" Then her friend said, "She means 666-3629."

Pee in the shower
Q: Who cares if you pee in the shower? A: The bride and all her guests, apparently.