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New jokes

DonĀ“t be racist
Don't be racist; racism is a crime; and crime is for black people.

Elves in school
Q: What do elves learn in school? Q: What do elves learn in school? A: The Elfabet.

Value of pi
Teacher: What is the value of Pi? Student: Depending on what pie. Usually is $12.99

Skeleton
Q: Why did the skeleton cross the road? A: To get to the body shop.

Google
Q: Is Google male or female? A: Female, because it doesn't let you finish a sentence before making a suggestion.

Snowman and vampire
What do get if you cross a Snowman with a Vampire? Frostbite.

School
Mother: "How was school today, Patrick?" Patrick: "It was really great mum! Today we made explosives!" Mother: "Ooh, they do very fancy stuff with you these days. And what will you do at school tomorrow?" Patrick: "What school?"

Microwave oven
Yo momma is so stupid when an intruder broke into her house, she ran downstairs, dialed 9-1-1 on the microwave, and couldn't find the "CALL" button.