If you can read this I´m drunk
Q: Why do hamburgers go to the gym A: To get better buns!
Q: Why did the witches' team lose the baseball game? A: Their bats flew away.
Q: What is a mummy's favorite type of music? A: Wrap!
I just read a book about Helium. It was so good that I can't put it down.
Lost in desert
A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette were all lost in the desert. They found a lamp and rubbed it. A genie popped out and granted them each one wish. The redhead wished to be back home. Poof! She was back home. The brunette wished to be at home with her family. Poof! She was back home with her family. The blonde said, "Awwww, I wish my friends were here."
Teacher and students
Teacher: "Kids, what does the chicken give you?" Student: "Meat!" Teacher: "Very good! Now what does the pig give you?" Student: "Bacon!" Teacher: "Great! And what does the fat cow give you?" Student: "Homework!"
Can a kangaroo jump higher than a house? Of course, a house doesn’t jump at all.
Q: Why did the skeleton cross the road? A: To get to the body shop.