Days without woman
#animal #funny #bored #exhausted #hungry #dog #woman #man #meal #food #frustrated #depressed #animals #feature #emotion #food #people
Skeleton order
Q: What does a skeleton order at a restaurant? A: Spare ribs!
Turkey
Why isn't the turkey hungry at Thanksgiving? Because he's already stuffed!
Cath the train
A man asks a farmer near a field, “Sorry sir, would you mind if I crossed your field instead of going around it? You see, I have to catch the 4:23 train.”
The farmer says, “Sure, go right ahead. And if my bull sees you, you’ll even catch the 4:11 one."
Naughty girls
Why is Santa Claus so jolly? Because he knows where all the naughty girls live.
Stupid momma
Your momma is so stupid when I told her Christmas is right around the corner she went looking for it.
Christmas gift
A little kids sends a letter to Santa that says: "Dear Santa I want a brother for Christmas." Santa writes back, "Dear Timmy send me me your mommy."
Snowman and vampire
What do get if you cross a Snowman with a Vampire? Frostbite.
Google
Q: Is Google male or female?
A: Female, because it doesn't let you finish a sentence before making a suggestion.