HUMAN FAIL

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Human fail

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New jokes

School
Mother: "How was school today, Patrick?" Patrick: "It was really great mum! Today we made explosives!" Mother: "Ooh, they do very fancy stuff with you these days. And what will you do at school tomorrow?" Patrick: "What school?"

Claustrophobic
What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus? Claustrophobic.

Envelope
Q: What starts with E, ends with E, and has only 1 letter in it? A: Envelope.

Santas sack
Q: Why is Santa Claus' sack so big? A: He only comes once a year.

Helium
I just read a book about Helium. It was so good that I can't put it down.

Christmas gift
A little kids sends a letter to Santa that says: "Dear Santa I want a brother for Christmas." Santa writes back, "Dear Timmy send me me your mommy."

Fat momma
Your momma is so fat when she got on the scale it said, "I need your weight not your phone number."

Pee in the shower
Q: Who cares if you pee in the shower? A: The bride and all her guests, apparently.