"Mom, where do tampons go?" "Where the babies come from, darling." "In the stork?"
Why is Santa Claus so jolly? Because he knows where all the naughty girls live.
Q: What do cheap hotels and designer jeans have in common? A: No ballroom.
Man vs priest
Man to his priest: “Yesterday I sinned with an 18 year old girl.” The priest: “Squeeze 18 lemons and drink the juice all at once.” Man: “And that frees me from my sin?” Priest: “No, but it frees your face from that dirty grin.
Q: Why did Adele cross the road? A: To sing, "Hello from the other side!"
If athletes get athletes foot, what do astronauts get? Missletoe!
Why isn't the turkey hungry at Thanksgiving? Because he's already stuffed!
Q: What starts with E, ends with E, and has only 1 letter in it? A: Envelope.