FAIL CHAIR

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Fail chair

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New jokes

Cats exercise
Teacher: "If I gave you 2 cats and another 2 cats and another 2, how many would you have?" Johnny: "Seven." Teacher: "No, listen carefully... If I gave you two cats, and another two cats and another two, how many would you have?" Johnny: "Seven." Teacher: "Let me put it to you differently. If I gave you two apples, and another two apples and another two, how many would you have?" Johnny: "Six." Teacher: "Good. Now if I gave you two cats, and another two cats and another two, how many would you have?" Johnny: "Seven!" Teacher: "Johnny, where in the heck do you get seven from?!" Johnny: "Because I've already got a freaking cat!"

Christmas
How is Christmas like your job? You do all the work and the fat guy in the suit gets all the credit.

Woman in the mirror
A woman looks in the mirror and says I look fat and then asks her husband to give her a compliment he says ok you have perfect eye sight.

Google
Q: Is Google male or female? A: Female, because it doesn't let you finish a sentence before making a suggestion.

Mummy┬┤s music
Q: What is a mummy's favorite type of music? A: Wrap!

Santas sack
Q: Why is Santa Claus' sack so big? A: He only comes once a year.

MY WIFE AND I ARE REALLY IN SYNC
If my wife has too much to drink at a party, starts yapping a little too much, I don't have to say anything... three little leg squeezes, she knows that means 'Put a sock in it, drunkie, time for you to wrap it up.' Somebody didn't have dinner like I suggested, now you're spouting off at the mouth divulging all the family secrets. You need to pipe down or we've got to f**king leave.

Stupid momma
Your momma is so stupid when I told her Christmas is right around the corner she went looking for it.