Don´t be racist
Don't be racist; racism is a crime; and crime is for black people.
Q: What do cheap hotels and designer jeans have in common? A: No ballroom.
How were people born
A child asked his father, "How were people born?" So his father said, "Adam and Eve made babies, then their babies became adults and made babies, and so on." The child then went to his mother, asked her the same question and she told him, "We were monkeys then we evolved to become like we are now." The child ran back to his father and said, "You lied to me!" His father replied, "No, your mom was talking about her side of the family."
Your momma is so stupid when I told her Christmas is right around the corner she went looking for it.
A little kids sends a letter to Santa that says: "Dear Santa I want a brother for Christmas." Santa writes back, "Dear Timmy send me me your mommy."
I just read a book about Helium. It was so good that I can't put it down.
I asked a Chinese girl for her number. She said, "Sex! Sex! Sex! Free sex tonight!" I said, "Wow!" Then her friend said, "She means 666-3629."
Q: What is a mummy's favorite type of music? A: Wrap!