BEER HAIRCUT

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Beer haircut

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New jokes

Athletes
If athletes get athletes foot, what do astronauts get? Missletoe!

Tiger Woods vs Santa
Q: What is the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa Claus? A: Santa stops after three hos.

Claustrophobic
What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus? Claustrophobic.

Fat momma
Your momma is so fat when she got on the scale it said, "I need your weight not your phone number."

Tears in eyes
My friend told me he gets tears in his eyes whenever his partner makes tender love to him. At first I thought he was an overemotional sissy, then I remembered: He's still in prison

Tampons
"Mom, where do tampons go?" "Where the babies come from, darling." "In the stork?"

A BLONDE & HER THERMOS
A blonde notices that her coworker has a thermos, so she asks him what it's for. He responds, "It keeps hot things hot and cold things cold." The blonde immediately buys one for herself. The next day, she goes to work and proudly displays it. Her coworker asks, "What do you have in it?" She replies, "Soup and ice cream."

Microwave oven
Yo momma is so stupid when an intruder broke into her house, she ran downstairs, dialed 9-1-1 on the microwave, and couldn't find the "CALL" button.