KIWI EATS KIWI

Kiwi eats kiwi

#funny #eat #eating #hungry #meal #food #bird #red #kiwi #feature #food #animals #color

New jokes

Fat momma
Your momma is so fat when she got on the scale it said, "I need your weight not your phone number."

Stupid momma
Your momma is so stupid when I told her Christmas is right around the corner she went looking for it.

Microwave oven
Yo momma is so stupid when an intruder broke into her house, she ran downstairs, dialed 9-1-1 on the microwave, and couldn't find the "CALL" button.

Christmas
How is Christmas like your job? You do all the work and the fat guy in the suit gets all the credit.

Truck driver
A man was driving and saw a truck stalled on the side of the highway that had ten penguins standing next to it. The man pulled over and asked the truck driver if he needed any help. The truck driver replied, "If you can take these penguins to the zoo while I wait for AAA that will be great!" The man agreed and the penguins hopped into the back of his car. Two hours later, the trucker was back on the road again and decided to check on the penguins. He showed up at the zoo and they weren't there! He headed back into his truck and started driving around the town, looking for any sign of the penguins, the man, or his car. While driving past a movie theater, the truck driver spotted the guy walking out with the ten penguins. The truck driver yelled, "What are you doing? You were supposed to take them to the zoo!" The man replied, "I did and then I had some extra money so I took them to go see a movie."

Momma
Your momma is so short, when she went to meet Santa he said, "Go back to work!"

Lost in desert
A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette were all lost in the desert. They found a lamp and rubbed it. A genie popped out and granted them each one wish. The redhead wished to be back home. Poof! She was back home. The brunette wished to be at home with her family. Poof! She was back home with her family. The blonde said, "Awwww, I wish my friends were here."

Claustrophobic
What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus? Claustrophobic.