KIWI EATS KIWI

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Kiwi eats kiwi

#funny #eat #eating #hungry #meal #food #bird #red #kiwi #feature #food #animals #color

New jokes

Chinese girl
I asked a Chinese girl for her number. She said, "Sex! Sex! Sex! Free sex tonight!" I said, "Wow!" Then her friend said, "She means 666-3629."

Skeleton order
Q: What does a skeleton order at a restaurant? A: Spare ribs!

Kids conversation
Kid 1: "Hey, I bet you're still a virgin." Kid 2: "Yeah, I was a virgin until last night ." Kid 1: "As if." Kid 2: "Yeah, just ask your sister." Kid 1: "I don't have a sister." Kid 2: "You will in about nine months."

Athletes
If athletes get athletes foot, what do astronauts get? Missletoe!

Birthday
Why did I get divorced? Well, last week was my birthday. My wife didn't wish me a happy birthday. My parents forgot and so did my kids. I went to work and even my colleagues didn't wish me a happy birthday. As I entered my office, my secretary said, "Happy birthday, boss!" I felt so special. She asked me out for lunch. After lunch, she invited me to her apartment. We went there and she said, "Do you mind if I go into the bedroom for a minute?" "Okay," I said. She came out 5 minutes later with a birthday cake, my wife, my parents, my kids, my friends, & my colleagues all yelling, "SURPRISE!!!" while I was waiting on the sofa... naked.

Fat momma
Your momma is so fat when she got on the scale it said, "I need your weight not your phone number."

Envelope
Q: What starts with E, ends with E, and has only 1 letter in it? A: Envelope.

Snowman snowwoman
What is the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman? Snowballs.