Shoe TV driver
Cath the train
A man asks a farmer near a field, “Sorry sir, would you mind if I crossed your field instead of going around it? You see, I have to catch the 4:23 train.” The farmer says, “Sure, go right ahead. And if my bull sees you, you’ll even catch the 4:11 one."
Q: Why did the witches' team lose the baseball game? A: Their bats flew away.
A little kid was out trick-or-treating on Halloween dressed as a pirate. He rang a house's doorbell and the door was opened by a lady. "Oh, how cute! A little pirate! And where are your buccaneers?" she asked. The boy replied, "Under my buckin' hat."
I just read a book about Helium. It was so good that I can't put it down.
If athletes get athletes foot, what do astronauts get? Missletoe!
Your momma is so short, when she went to meet Santa he said, "Go back to work!"
What is the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman? Snowballs.
"Mom, where do tampons go?" "Where the babies come from, darling." "In the stork?"