Why is Santa Claus so jolly? Because he knows where all the naughty girls live.
Q: What is a mummy's favorite type of music? A: Wrap!
Q: Why did the skeleton cross the road? A: To get to the body shop.
Q: Why is Santa Claus' sack so big? A: He only comes once a year.
Snowman and vampire
What do get if you cross a Snowman with a Vampire? Frostbite.
I asked a Chinese girl for her number. She said, "Sex! Sex! Sex! Free sex tonight!" I said, "Wow!" Then her friend said, "She means 666-3629."
What is the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman? Snowballs.
What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus? Claustrophobic.