CARROT COSMONAUT

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Carrot cosmonaut

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New jokes

How were people born
A child asked his father, "How were people born?" So his father said, "Adam and Eve made babies, then their babies became adults and made babies, and so on." The child then went to his mother, asked her the same question and she told him, "We were monkeys then we evolved to become like we are now." The child ran back to his father and said, "You lied to me!" His father replied, "No, your mom was talking about her side of the family."

Envelope
Q: What starts with E, ends with E, and has only 1 letter in it? A: Envelope.

Adele
Q: Why did Adele cross the road? A: To sing, "Hello from the other side!"

50 cent
Yo momma's so stupid, she put two quarters in her ears and thought she was listening to 50 Cent.

Pregnant woman
A 3 years old boy sits near a pregnant woman. Boy: Why do you look so fat? Pregnant woman: I have a baby inside me. Boy: Is it a good baby? Pregnant woman: Yes, it is a very good baby. Boy: Then why did you eat it?!

Kangaroo
Can a kangaroo jump higher than a house? Of course, a house doesn’t jump at all.

Ghosts as liars
Q: Why are ghosts bad liars? A: You can see right through them.

Pee in the shower
Q: Who cares if you pee in the shower? A: The bride and all her guests, apparently.