CARROT COSMONAUT

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Carrot cosmonaut

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New jokes

Ghosts as liars
Q: Why are ghosts bad liars? A: You can see right through them.

Claustrophobic
What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus? Claustrophobic.

Santas sack
Q: Why is Santa Claus' sack so big? A: He only comes once a year.

Skeleton order
Q: What does a skeleton order at a restaurant? A: Spare ribs!

Beans
A teacher asked her students to use the word "beans" in a sentence. "My father grows beans," said one girl. "My mother cooks beans," said a boy. A third student spoke up, "We are all human beans."

Skeleton
Q: Why did the skeleton cross the road? A: To get to the body shop.

Private investigator
A guy believed that his wife is cheating on him, so he hired a private investigator. The cheapest he could find was a Chinese man. This was the Chinese PI's report about what he found: "Most honorable, sir. You leave house. I watch house. He come to house. I watch. He and she leave house. I follow. He and she go in hotel. I climb tree. I look in window. He kiss she. He strip she. She strip he. He play with she. She play with he. I play with me. I fall out tree. I not see. No fee. Cheng Lee."

50 cent
Yo momma's so stupid, she put two quarters in her ears and thought she was listening to 50 Cent.