CARROT COSMONAUT

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Carrot cosmonaut

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New jokes

Helium
I just read a book about Helium. It was so good that I can't put it down.

Teacher and students
Teacher: "Kids, what does the chicken give you?" Student: "Meat!" Teacher: "Very good! Now what does the pig give you?" Student: "Bacon!" Teacher: "Great! And what does the fat cow give you?" Student: "Homework!"

Hamburgers
Q: Why do hamburgers go to the gym A: To get better buns!

Microwave oven
Yo momma is so stupid when an intruder broke into her house, she ran downstairs, dialed 9-1-1 on the microwave, and couldn't find the "CALL" button.

Envelope
Q: What starts with E, ends with E, and has only 1 letter in it? A: Envelope.

Mr. and Mrs. Brown
Mr. and Mrs. Brown had two sons. One was named Mind Your Own Business & the other was named Trouble. One day the two boys decided to play hide and seek. Trouble hid while Mind Your Own Business counted to one hundred. Mind Your Own Business began looking for his brother behind garbage cans and bushes. Then he started looking in and under cars until a police man approached him and asked, "What are you doing?" "Playing a game," the boy replied. "What is your name?" the officer questioned. "Mind Your Own Business." Furious the policeman inquired, "Are you looking for trouble?!" The boy replied, "Why, yes."

Kangaroo
Can a kangaroo jump higher than a house? Of course, a house doesn’t jump at all.

Momma
Your momma is so short, when she went to meet Santa he said, "Go back to work!"