CARROT COSMONAUT

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Carrot cosmonaut

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New jokes

Man vs priest
Man to his priest: “Yesterday I sinned with an 18 year old girl.” The priest: “Squeeze 18 lemons and drink the juice all at once.” Man: “And that frees me from my sin?” Priest: “No, but it frees your face from that dirty grin.

Mexican sport
What is a Mexican's favorite sport? Cross-country.

Skeleton
Q: Why did the skeleton cross the road? A: To get to the body shop.

Envelope
Q: What starts with E, ends with E, and has only 1 letter in it? A: Envelope.

Cats exercise
Teacher: "If I gave you 2 cats and another 2 cats and another 2, how many would you have?" Johnny: "Seven." Teacher: "No, listen carefully... If I gave you two cats, and another two cats and another two, how many would you have?" Johnny: "Seven." Teacher: "Let me put it to you differently. If I gave you two apples, and another two apples and another two, how many would you have?" Johnny: "Six." Teacher: "Good. Now if I gave you two cats, and another two cats and another two, how many would you have?" Johnny: "Seven!" Teacher: "Johnny, where in the heck do you get seven from?!" Johnny: "Because I've already got a freaking cat!"

Adele
Q: Why did Adele cross the road? A: To sing, "Hello from the other side!"

Cheap hotels
Q: What do cheap hotels and designer jeans have in common? A: No ballroom.

Helium
I just read a book about Helium. It was so good that I can't put it down.