Wooden coat hanger
Q: What does a skeleton order at a restaurant? A: Spare ribs!
Q: Is Google male or female? A: Female, because it doesn't let you finish a sentence before making a suggestion.
Man vs priest
Man to his priest: “Yesterday I sinned with an 18 year old girl.” The priest: “Squeeze 18 lemons and drink the juice all at once.” Man: “And that frees me from my sin?” Priest: “No, but it frees your face from that dirty grin.
Q: Can February march? A: No, but April may.
Q: What is a mummy's favorite type of music? A: Wrap!
I just read a book about Helium. It was so good that I can't put it down.
I asked a Chinese girl for her number. She said, "Sex! Sex! Sex! Free sex tonight!" I said, "Wow!" Then her friend said, "She means 666-3629."
Your momma is so fat when she got on the scale it said, "I need your weight not your phone number."