Can a kangaroo jump higher than a house? Of course, a house doesn’t jump at all.
Cath the train
A man asks a farmer near a field, “Sorry sir, would you mind if I crossed your field instead of going around it? You see, I have to catch the 4:23 train.” The farmer says, “Sure, go right ahead. And if my bull sees you, you’ll even catch the 4:11 one."
Woman in the mirror
A woman looks in the mirror and says I look fat and then asks her husband to give her a compliment he says ok you have perfect eye sight.
Q: What does a skeleton order at a restaurant? A: Spare ribs!
Q: Why is Santa Claus' sack so big? A: He only comes once a year.
Your momma is so stupid when I told her Christmas is right around the corner she went looking for it.
If athletes get athletes foot, what do astronauts get? Missletoe!
Ghosts as liars
Q: Why are ghosts bad liars? A: You can see right through them.