A guy believed that his wife is cheating on him, so he hired a private investigator. The cheapest he could find was a Chinese man. This was the Chinese PI's report about what he found: "Most honorable, sir. You leave house. I watch house. He come to house. I watch. He and she leave house. I follow. He and she go in hotel. I climb tree. I look in window. He kiss she. He strip she. She strip he. He play with she. She play with he. I play with me. I fall out tree. I not see. No fee. Cheng Lee."
Q: What is a mummy's favorite type of music? A: Wrap!
Q: What does a skeleton order at a restaurant? A: Spare ribs!
Q: Why did the witches' team lose the baseball game? A: Their bats flew away.
What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus? Claustrophobic.
Q: Can February march? A: No, but April may.
Guys on the roof
On the roof of a very tall building are four men; one is asian, one is mexican, one is black, and the last one is white. The asian walks to the ledge and says, "This is for all my people" and jumps off the roof. Next, the mexican walks to the ledge and also says, "This is for all my people" and then he jumps off the roof. Next is the black guy's turn. The black guy walks to the ledge and says, "This is for all my people" and then throws the white guy off the roof.
Elves in school
Q: What do elves learn in school? Q: What do elves learn in school? A: The Elfabet.