Snowman and vampire
What do get if you cross a Snowman with a Vampire? Frostbite.
Your momma is so stupid when I told her Christmas is right around the corner she went looking for it.
How is Christmas like your job? You do all the work and the fat guy in the suit gets all the credit.
Your momma is so short, when she went to meet Santa he said, "Go back to work!"
Your momma is so fat when she got on the scale it said, "I need your weight not your phone number."
Q: What does a skeleton order at a restaurant? A: Spare ribs!
Q: How does Albus get into Hogwarts? A: Through the Dumble-door.
Ghosts as liars
Q: Why are ghosts bad liars? A: You can see right through them.