Boss and employee
Boss: Do you believe in life after death? Employee: No, because there is no proof of it. Boss: Well there is now ! Employee: How? Boss: When you left yesterday saying that you have to go to your uncle's funeral, your uncle came here looking for you after you left
A BLONDE & HER THERMOS
A blonde notices that her coworker has a thermos, so she asks him what it's for. He responds, "It keeps hot things hot and cold things cold." The blonde immediately buys one for herself. The next day, she goes to work and proudly displays it. Her coworker asks, "What do you have in it?" She replies, "Soup and ice cream."
Q: Why is Santa Claus' sack so big? A: He only comes once a year.
Q: Why do hamburgers go to the gym A: To get better buns!
Snowman and vampire
What do get if you cross a Snowman with a Vampire? Frostbite.
What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus? Claustrophobic.
Q: What is a mummy's favorite type of music? A: Wrap!
Q: How does Albus get into Hogwarts? A: Through the Dumble-door.