Dog stuck in ladder
I asked a Chinese girl for her number. She said, "Sex! Sex! Sex! Free sex tonight!" I said, "Wow!" Then her friend said, "She means 666-3629."
Yo momma is so stupid when an intruder broke into her house, she ran downstairs, dialed 9-1-1 on the microwave, and couldn't find the "CALL" button.
If athletes get athletes foot, what do astronauts get? Missletoe!
Can a kangaroo jump higher than a house? Of course, a house doesn’t jump at all.
Q: Why do hamburgers go to the gym A: To get better buns!
A BLONDE & HER THERMOS
A blonde notices that her coworker has a thermos, so she asks him what it's for. He responds, "It keeps hot things hot and cold things cold." The blonde immediately buys one for herself. The next day, she goes to work and proudly displays it. Her coworker asks, "What do you have in it?" She replies, "Soup and ice cream."
Ghosts as liars
Q: Why are ghosts bad liars? A: You can see right through them.
Yo momma's so stupid, she put two quarters in her ears and thought she was listening to 50 Cent.