A guy believed that his wife is cheating on him, so he hired a private investigator. The cheapest he could find was a Chinese man. This was the Chinese PI's report about what he found: "Most honorable, sir. You leave house. I watch house. He come to house. I watch. He and she leave house. I follow. He and she go in hotel. I climb tree. I look in window. He kiss she. He strip she. She strip he. He play with she. She play with he. I play with me. I fall out tree. I not see. No fee. Cheng Lee."
"Mom, where do tampons go?" "Where the babies come from, darling." "In the stork?"
Man vs priest
Man to his priest: “Yesterday I sinned with an 18 year old girl.” The priest: “Squeeze 18 lemons and drink the juice all at once.” Man: “And that frees me from my sin?” Priest: “No, but it frees your face from that dirty grin.
Why isn't the turkey hungry at Thanksgiving? Because he's already stuffed!
Yo momma's so stupid, she put two quarters in her ears and thought she was listening to 50 Cent.
What is the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman? Snowballs.
Q: Why did Adele cross the road? A: To sing, "Hello from the other side!"
Yo momma is so stupid when an intruder broke into her house, she ran downstairs, dialed 9-1-1 on the microwave, and couldn't find the "CALL" button.