Your momma is so fat when she got on the scale it said, "I need your weight not your phone number."
What is a Mexican's favorite sport? Cross-country.
A teacher asked her students to use the word "beans" in a sentence. "My father grows beans," said one girl. "My mother cooks beans," said a boy. A third student spoke up, "We are all human beans."
Q: Why did Adele cross the road? A: To sing, "Hello from the other side!"
Bug in soup
A boy asks his father, "Dad, are bugs good to eat?" "That's disgusting. Don't talk about things like that over dinner," the dad replies. After dinner the father asks, "Now, son, what did you want to ask me?" "Oh, nothing," the boy says. "There was a bug in your soup, but now it’s gone."
Elves in school
Q: What do elves learn in school? Q: What do elves learn in school? A: The Elfabet.
Don´t be racist
Don't be racist; racism is a crime; and crime is for black people.
Q: What starts with E, ends with E, and has only 1 letter in it? A: Envelope.