If athletes get athletes foot, what do astronauts get? Missletoe!
Q: What starts with E, ends with E, and has only 1 letter in it? A: Envelope.
Q: What do cheap hotels and designer jeans have in common? A: No ballroom.
Q: Why do hamburgers go to the gym A: To get better buns!
Pee in the shower
Q: Who cares if you pee in the shower? A: The bride and all her guests, apparently.
A guy believed that his wife is cheating on him, so he hired a private investigator. The cheapest he could find was a Chinese man. This was the Chinese PI's report about what he found: "Most honorable, sir. You leave house. I watch house. He come to house. I watch. He and she leave house. I follow. He and she go in hotel. I climb tree. I look in window. He kiss she. He strip she. She strip he. He play with she. She play with he. I play with me. I fall out tree. I not see. No fee. Cheng Lee."
Q: What does a skeleton order at a restaurant? A: Spare ribs!
I just read a book about Helium. It was so good that I can't put it down.