VODKA AND MUM

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Vodka and mum

#funny #drink #drinking #drive #driving #crazy #woman #thirsty #red #blonde #liquor #dangerous #stupid #feature #food #activities #people #color

New jokes

Helium
I just read a book about Helium. It was so good that I can't put it down.

A BLONDE & HER THERMOS
A blonde notices that her coworker has a thermos, so she asks him what it's for. He responds, "It keeps hot things hot and cold things cold." The blonde immediately buys one for herself. The next day, she goes to work and proudly displays it. Her coworker asks, "What do you have in it?" She replies, "Soup and ice cream."

Skeleton
Q: Why did the skeleton cross the road? A: To get to the body shop.

50 cent
Yo momma's so stupid, she put two quarters in her ears and thought she was listening to 50 Cent.

Mexican sport
What is a Mexican's favorite sport? Cross-country.

DonĀ“t be racist
Don't be racist; racism is a crime; and crime is for black people.

Boss and employee
Boss: Do you believe in life after death? Employee: No, because there is no proof of it. Boss: Well there is now ! Employee: How? Boss: When you left yesterday saying that you have to go to your uncle's funeral, your uncle came here looking for you after you left

Fat momma
Your momma is so fat when she got on the scale it said, "I need your weight not your phone number."