VODKA AND MUM

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Vodka and mum

#funny #drink #drinking #drive #driving #crazy #woman #thirsty #red #blonde #liquor #dangerous #stupid #feature #food #activities #people #color

New jokes

Witches
Q: Why did the witches' team lose the baseball game? A: Their bats flew away.

Don´t be racist
Don't be racist; racism is a crime; and crime is for black people.

Man vs priest
Man to his priest: “Yesterday I sinned with an 18 year old girl.” The priest: “Squeeze 18 lemons and drink the juice all at once.” Man: “And that frees me from my sin?” Priest: “No, but it frees your face from that dirty grin.

Cath the train
A man asks a farmer near a field, “Sorry sir, would you mind if I crossed your field instead of going around it? You see, I have to catch the 4:23 train.” The farmer says, “Sure, go right ahead. And if my bull sees you, you’ll even catch the 4:11 one."

Helium
I just read a book about Helium. It was so good that I can't put it down.

Tiger Woods vs Santa
Q: What is the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa Claus? A: Santa stops after three hos.

Snowman snowwoman
What is the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman? Snowballs.

Chinese girl
I asked a Chinese girl for her number. She said, "Sex! Sex! Sex! Free sex tonight!" I said, "Wow!" Then her friend said, "She means 666-3629."