HOMER SIMPSON

954.jpg

Homer simpson

#shocked #woman #fail #simpsons #yellow #omg #wtf #confused #emotion #people #others #celebrities #color #reactions

New jokes

Where do babies come from
A mother is in the kitchen making dinner for her family when her daughter walks in. “Mother, where do babies come from?” The mother thinks for a few seconds and says, “Well dear, Mommy and Daddy fall in love and get married. One night they go into their bedroom, they kiss and hug, and have sex.” The daughter looks puzzled so the mother continues, “That means the daddy puts his penis in the mommy’s vagina. That’s how you get a baby, honey.” The child seems to comprehend. “Oh, I see, but the other night when I came into your room you had daddy’s penis in your mouth. What do you get when you do that?” “Jewelry, my dear. Jewelry.”

Envelope
Q: What starts with E, ends with E, and has only 1 letter in it? A: Envelope.

Kangaroo
Can a kangaroo jump higher than a house? Of course, a house doesn’t jump at all.

Months
Q: Can February march? A: No, but April may.

Claustrophobic
What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus? Claustrophobic.

Don´t be racist
Don't be racist; racism is a crime; and crime is for black people.

Reporter vs man
Reporter: "Excuse me, may I interview you?" Man: "Yes!" Reporter: "Name?" Man: "Abdul Al-Rhazim." Reporter: "Sex?" Man: "Three to five times a week." Reporter: "No no! I mean male or female?" Man: "Yes, male, female... sometimes camel." Reporter: "Holy cow!" Man: "Yes, cow, sheep... animals in general." Reporter: "But isn't that hostile?" Man: "Yes, horse style, dog style, any style." Reporter: "Oh dear!" Man: "No, no deer. Deer run too fast. Hard to catch."

Value of pi
Teacher: What is the value of Pi? Student: Depending on what pie. Usually is $12.99