HOMER SIMPSON

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Homer simpson

#shocked #woman #fail #simpsons #yellow #omg #wtf #confused #emotion #people #others #celebrities #color #reactions

New jokes

Fat momma
Your momma is so fat when she got on the scale it said, "I need your weight not your phone number."

Santas sack
Q: Why is Santa Claus' sack so big? A: He only comes once a year.

Reporter vs man
Reporter: "Excuse me, may I interview you?" Man: "Yes!" Reporter: "Name?" Man: "Abdul Al-Rhazim." Reporter: "Sex?" Man: "Three to five times a week." Reporter: "No no! I mean male or female?" Man: "Yes, male, female... sometimes camel." Reporter: "Holy cow!" Man: "Yes, cow, sheep... animals in general." Reporter: "But isn't that hostile?" Man: "Yes, horse style, dog style, any style." Reporter: "Oh dear!" Man: "No, no deer. Deer run too fast. Hard to catch."

How were people born
A child asked his father, "How were people born?" So his father said, "Adam and Eve made babies, then their babies became adults and made babies, and so on." The child then went to his mother, asked her the same question and she told him, "We were monkeys then we evolved to become like we are now." The child ran back to his father and said, "You lied to me!" His father replied, "No, your mom was talking about her side of the family."

Witches
Q: Why did the witches' team lose the baseball game? A: Their bats flew away.

Naughty girls
Why is Santa Claus so jolly? Because he knows where all the naughty girls live.

Ghosts as cheerleaders
Q: Why are ghosts such good cheerleaders? A: Because they have a lot of spirit!

Stupid momma
Your momma is so stupid when I told her Christmas is right around the corner she went looking for it.