Q: What does a skeleton order at a restaurant? A: Spare ribs!
Q: What is a mummy's favorite type of music? A: Wrap!
I just read a book about Helium. It was so good that I can't put it down.
Yo momma is so stupid when an intruder broke into her house, she ran downstairs, dialed 9-1-1 on the microwave, and couldn't find the "CALL" button.
Why is Santa Claus so jolly? Because he knows where all the naughty girls live.
How is Christmas like your job? You do all the work and the fat guy in the suit gets all the credit.
Can a kangaroo jump higher than a house? Of course, a house doesn’t jump at all.
What is a Mexican's favorite sport? Cross-country.