EVOLUTION

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Evolution

#animal #funny #dog #crazy #woman #man #boy #fail #wtf #spiderman #spider #animals #feature #people #others #reactions

New jokes

MY WIFE AND I ARE REALLY IN SYNC
If my wife has too much to drink at a party, starts yapping a little too much, I don't have to say anything... three little leg squeezes, she knows that means 'Put a sock in it, drunkie, time for you to wrap it up.' Somebody didn't have dinner like I suggested, now you're spouting off at the mouth divulging all the family secrets. You need to pipe down or we've got to f**king leave.

Pee in the shower
Q: Who cares if you pee in the shower? A: The bride and all her guests, apparently.

Cheap hotels
Q: What do cheap hotels and designer jeans have in common? A: No ballroom.

Kangaroo
Can a kangaroo jump higher than a house? Of course, a house doesn’t jump at all.

Months
Q: Can February march? A: No, but April may.

Trick-or-treating
A little kid was out trick-or-treating on Halloween dressed as a pirate. He rang a house's doorbell and the door was opened by a lady. "Oh, how cute! A little pirate! And where are your buccaneers?" she asked. The boy replied, "Under my buckin' hat."

Envelope
Q: What starts with E, ends with E, and has only 1 letter in it? A: Envelope.

Woman in the mirror
A woman looks in the mirror and says I look fat and then asks her husband to give her a compliment he says ok you have perfect eye sight.