Swimming pool and ass
Why is Santa Claus so jolly? Because he knows where all the naughty girls live.
Boss and employee
Boss: Do you believe in life after death? Employee: No, because there is no proof of it. Boss: Well there is now ! Employee: How? Boss: When you left yesterday saying that you have to go to your uncle's funeral, your uncle came here looking for you after you left
Why isn't the turkey hungry at Thanksgiving? Because he's already stuffed!
Can a kangaroo jump higher than a house? Of course, a house doesn’t jump at all.
Q: Can February march? A: No, but April may.
Yo momma is so stupid when an intruder broke into her house, she ran downstairs, dialed 9-1-1 on the microwave, and couldn't find the "CALL" button.
What is the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman? Snowballs.
Q: Why do hamburgers go to the gym A: To get better buns!