Grill the meat
Q: What does a skeleton order at a restaurant? A: Spare ribs!
Q: Why is Santa Claus' sack so big? A: He only comes once a year.
Elves in school
Q: What do elves learn in school? Q: What do elves learn in school? A: The Elfabet.
Mother: "How was school today, Patrick?" Patrick: "It was really great mum! Today we made explosives!" Mother: "Ooh, they do very fancy stuff with you these days. And what will you do at school tomorrow?" Patrick: "What school?"
Pee in the shower
Q: Who cares if you pee in the shower? A: The bride and all her guests, apparently.
Q: Can February march? A: No, but April may.
I just read a book about Helium. It was so good that I can't put it down.
Yo momma's so stupid, she put two quarters in her ears and thought she was listening to 50 Cent.