Grill the meat
Q: What starts with E, ends with E, and has only 1 letter in it? A: Envelope.
Your momma is so stupid when I told her Christmas is right around the corner she went looking for it.
Your momma is so fat when she got on the scale it said, "I need your weight not your phone number."
Q: Is Google male or female? A: Female, because it doesn't let you finish a sentence before making a suggestion.
Why isn't the turkey hungry at Thanksgiving? Because he's already stuffed!
Mr. and Mrs. Brown
Mr. and Mrs. Brown had two sons. One was named Mind Your Own Business & the other was named Trouble. One day the two boys decided to play hide and seek. Trouble hid while Mind Your Own Business counted to one hundred. Mind Your Own Business began looking for his brother behind garbage cans and bushes. Then he started looking in and under cars until a police man approached him and asked, "What are you doing?" "Playing a game," the boy replied. "What is your name?" the officer questioned. "Mind Your Own Business." Furious the policeman inquired, "Are you looking for trouble?!" The boy replied, "Why, yes."
A little kid was out trick-or-treating on Halloween dressed as a pirate. He rang a house's doorbell and the door was opened by a lady. "Oh, how cute! A little pirate! And where are your buccaneers?" she asked. The boy replied, "Under my buckin' hat."
Ghosts as cheerleaders
Q: Why are ghosts such good cheerleaders? A: Because they have a lot of spirit!