Sausage christmas tree
#funny #christmas #hungry #winter #meal #food #delicious #christmas tree #green #sausage #feature #winter #food #color
Helium
I just read a book about Helium. It was so good that I can't put it down.
Microwave oven
Yo momma is so stupid when an intruder broke into her house, she ran downstairs, dialed 9-1-1 on the microwave, and couldn't find the "CALL" button.
School
Mother: "How was school today, Patrick?"
Patrick: "It was really great mum! Today we made explosives!"
Mother: "Ooh, they do very fancy stuff with you these days. And what will you do at school tomorrow?"
Patrick: "What school?"
Skeleton
Q: Why did the skeleton cross the road? A: To get to the body shop.
Santas sack
Q: Why is Santa Claus' sack so big? A: He only comes once a year.
Pee in the shower
Q: Who cares if you pee in the shower? A: The bride and all her guests, apparently.
Harry Potter
Q: How does Albus get into Hogwarts? A: Through the Dumble-door.
Christmas
How is Christmas like your job? You do all the work and the fat guy in the suit gets all the credit.