Your momma is so short, when she went to meet Santa he said, "Go back to work!"
What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus? Claustrophobic.
Elves in school
Q: What do elves learn in school? Q: What do elves learn in school? A: The Elfabet.
"Mom, where do tampons go?" "Where the babies come from, darling." "In the stork?"
Man vs priest
Man to his priest: “Yesterday I sinned with an 18 year old girl.” The priest: “Squeeze 18 lemons and drink the juice all at once.” Man: “And that frees me from my sin?” Priest: “No, but it frees your face from that dirty grin.
Q: What is a mummy's favorite type of music? A: Wrap!
Q: Why did the skeleton cross the road? A: To get to the body shop.
Q: What does a skeleton order at a restaurant? A: Spare ribs!