How is Christmas like your job? You do all the work and the fat guy in the suit gets all the credit.
Q: Can February march? A: No, but April may.
A teacher asked her students to use the word "beans" in a sentence. "My father grows beans," said one girl. "My mother cooks beans," said a boy. A third student spoke up, "We are all human beans."
"Mom, where do tampons go?" "Where the babies come from, darling." "In the stork?"
Yo momma is so stupid when an intruder broke into her house, she ran downstairs, dialed 9-1-1 on the microwave, and couldn't find the "CALL" button.
Why isn't the turkey hungry at Thanksgiving? Because he's already stuffed!
Woman in the mirror
A woman looks in the mirror and says I look fat and then asks her husband to give her a compliment he says ok you have perfect eye sight.
Yo momma's so stupid, she put two quarters in her ears and thought she was listening to 50 Cent.