Parachute with reindeer
Q: What starts with E, ends with E, and has only 1 letter in it? A: Envelope.
Ghosts as cheerleaders
Q: Why are ghosts such good cheerleaders? A: Because they have a lot of spirit!
Q: What do cheap hotels and designer jeans have in common? A: No ballroom.
Ghosts as liars
Q: Why are ghosts bad liars? A: You can see right through them.
Q: How does Albus get into Hogwarts? A: Through the Dumble-door.
A BLONDE & HER THERMOS
A blonde notices that her coworker has a thermos, so she asks him what it's for. He responds, "It keeps hot things hot and cold things cold." The blonde immediately buys one for herself. The next day, she goes to work and proudly displays it. Her coworker asks, "What do you have in it?" She replies, "Soup and ice cream."
I asked a Chinese girl for her number. She said, "Sex! Sex! Sex! Free sex tonight!" I said, "Wow!" Then her friend said, "She means 666-3629."
Pee in the shower
Q: Who cares if you pee in the shower? A: The bride and all her guests, apparently.